Triangulation is the art of forming a “triangle” with two other people, often by inserting oneself into others’ conflict. Triangulation is to be avoided.
When it comes to getting stuck between people, it is useful to recognize the problem ahead of time. Usually one person’s problem and second person’s problem are not your problem. We can try to avoid letting these problems become our problem.
I’ve gotten pretty astute in recognizing the signs. But I’m not perfect.
When we find ourselves in the middle of other people’s problems, we’ll be tempted to fix things. Resist. Because your job isn’t to fix anything. It’s to get out of there.
The clearest truth about being triangulated is that, even though their problems aren’t your problem, the second you accept the problems as your problem, you become the problem.
So…
With triangulation, the best thing to do is to avoid it. The second best thing is to get out of the middle of it.