aWe often describe Mary as humble. But the kind of humility we see in Scripture challenges the meek and mild image.
And the rejection of toxic humility
Advent 4C | Luke 1:39-45(46-55)
There are two ways we usually read this story of Mary visiting Elizabeth.
The first is that Mary, mother of God has this profound encounter in which somebody recognizes how amazing her baby is. Before he’s born.
The second way we read this story is as a family affair. This pregnant woman goes and hangs out with another pregnant woman. Which is both a relatable human thing and a signifier for the lineage of Jesus.
I’m sure there are other readings, but these two rise up most often. Because they are built on the tension of how we deal with Jesus’s dual natures: as divine and human.
As for me, I find these responses to the story to be so boring. This is what we often do in the church: take an amazing story and turn it into ridiculous creedal mumbo jumbo about the nature of Christ. I mean, as someone who loves theology I get it. But I also don’t get it.
Mary’s Names
When I was being trained, one of the ways people liked to describe Mary was to refer to her as the BVM (the Blessed Virgin Mary). Isn’t that awesome? BVM. She is such a rockstar, she gets to go by initials. But not initials for her first, middle, and last names. No, her rockstar stage name. We’d type BVM on documents and call her the BVM in conversation.
The other one, and the one I was more prone to using was to call Mary “the Godbearer”. For one, it doesn’t define her by age or sexual status, but by her role in the whole Jesus Event. Of all titles, it actually rises to the level of our theology, rather than our gutter church politics.
The thing about being trained in a “higher church” environment is that we would talk about Mary a lot more than we do here. But not about the person so much as her role. Her part in the Jesus Event.
It’s About Humility
As I read this story again this week, mindful of theology and roles, of course, but also the people with names and relationships, I was struck by something else Elizabeth and Mary have in common. They both demonstrate a remarkable humility.
I know this isn’t new. And I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. But I was struck by how their words reveal the way they see themselves in relationship to one another. They are speaking about relationship while placing themselves below: Elizabeth below Mary and Mary below God.
In other words, they are creating a social hierarchy in which they can place themselves in a lower role.
This is the thing about humility we actually aren’t wrestling with as people of faith. We speak of humility as a virtue in the church and then celebrate gloryhounds. So I take the idea that this is obvious with a grain of salt.
What is humility?
It is the quality of being humble. Thanks, Dictionary. So what is humble?
I suspect the idea of humility as a virtue is predicated on a norm that we are not likely to be humble. This may not mean that we are therefore boastful or rude; egotistical and selfish. But perhaps that humility isn’t something the majority are inclined to be. And therefore we must be encouraged to be more humble.
Or perhaps there are some who are naturally humble and the church raises them up and says “She’s humble: be more like her.”
Let’s get back to who we are calling humble.
Elizabeth has already had a God encounter.
And not because she’s married to a priest. There isn’t a clergy spouse osmosis thing. She has had the encounter. And that includes a miracle pregnancy. So this isn’t God showing up in her life the first time. This is actually the more profound after time: the time after the encounter when you now know to look for the signs.
And then, when Mary arrives, she opens the door, and {BOOM} it’s right there. The baby kicks.
Of course, this could be a coincidence. But to a person of faith, there is no reason to preference the skepticism. We are called to be open to communication. Maybe there is a God Thing here.
This is exactly what Elizabeth does. But she doesn’t keep it to herself, going over it in her mind. She can’t! It bursts out of her like a second child. She shouts it! Loudly!
“Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb.”
But Elizabeth isn’t done.
“And why has this happened to me, that the mother of my Lord comes to me? For as soon as I heard the sound of your greeting, the child in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her by the Lord.”
This is a pretty complex cry, isn’t it. Because
- She praises Mary and calls her especially blessed among women.
- Then places herself below her younger cousin.
- And then she calls herself blessed in believing God would fulfill the promise to her.
This is far more complex than the humility I was raised with.
Humility is Complicated.
The thing about the way we talk about humility is that it’s rarely about the greatness of God. Sometimes it is just negative self-talk. Those of us who experience destructive self-talk from their inner critic aren’t helped when people raise up this kind of humility without actually changing structures in our world to mirror that virtue.
In other words, what’s the point of being humble if Christians support the opposite?
And by structures I mean local organizations like schools and churches and national and global ones; governments and institutions; families and neighborhoods. In each of these places, who is most successful? Whose voice is heard? Is it the loudest? The most threatening?
Now taking one for the team is a pretty generous act. When you take one for the team over and over and the team comes to expect it, where exactly is the virtue? For you or the team.
Humility seems like a virtue we praise in others and the burden we saddle them with.
Sometimes we think of this toxic humility as “keeping the peace.” But it isn’t actual peace. Caving to bullies isn’t making peace: it’s promoting injustice.
This is why we’re wrong about Mary.
She is humble. But not in Western, American, Midwest terms. And certainly not in patriarchal and imperialist terms.
Mary describes herself as a lowly servant to God. She certainly sets herself up as subordinate to God. But notice, that isn’t subordinate to her fiance, her king, or the emperor.
And in her song, the Magnificat, she unfurls a revolutionary flag that defies the way the powerful order the world.
Mary’s song reveals the true paradox of faith: that we might show humility to God as God humiliates the powerful.
This week we will sing about Mary, calling her meek and mild, a very special lady. We’ll forget how strong she is. How strong it is to be humble in a world of braggarts. In a world in which dominance, threats, manipulation, and extortion are common trade, even in church.
We’ll see the strength of Mary and Joseph and the cowardice of Herod. And we need to see how humility really plays in Christian witness. In more modern times, it looks like the March across the Edmund Pettus Bridge.
In our culture, humility is protest.
Making Peace
What Mary knows about her future, her baby and his future, her cousin and her baby and their future depends on the cryptic communication of angels. But what she knows about God is the fundamental act of faith based in the work God has done and promised to do.
And that promise is for true peace, Shalom. Wholeness. Justice. Wellness. Equity. Peace.
Mary sings of the promise of God to bring our world into wholeness because it is severely broken by sin and evil.
And we are blessed in Jesus bringing us into that restoration. To both work for and anticipate God’s transformation of the world.To make peace. With a Mary humility. A Francis humility. A Dorothy Day humility. That special humility. And it is special, not because they are above us, but because God is above us and we are special to God.