Thanksgiving is all about the food. That is how must Americans experience Thanksgiving: by eating through it.
There are three kinds of Thanksgiving dinners:
- Always the same.
- Changing or negotiating between families
- Eating out.
The Same
The menu is pretty static for most of us. Turkey and carbs. And for many, the experience is also static. You go to Grandma’s. You eat. Then go home. For some, the tradition is built entirely around it not only being the same, but identical to last year. Same menu, place, and family. Nothing is allowed to change.
Families
Others routinely have different experiences with different people. Or they have to have two (or more) Thanksgivings, sometimes on the same day. Late lunch at one parent’s and dinner at the other’s. Sameness and predictability can be found in the holiday, but it is far from the point. Thanksgiving is about relationships.
Becoming
And some are done with roasting a turkey when someone else can take care of that for us! No leftovers (sad) but also, no clean up (happy). Celebrations become something new.
Growing up, Thanksgiving at our house was never identical. Sometimes it was the four of us and sometimes it was four times that. The menu varied over time. As did location.
I’ve been head chef for our big family Thanksgiving for a number of years now. And as our families have grown, so has the menu. Of course, the staples are there: turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, something green. But we’ve got to have something new. An identical menu is utterly unacceptable.
Some would argue that what is needed is something that never changes. They love the predictability of the day. I suppose that’s true. But I look at seeing my family again. Eating a dinner that will always feel Thanksgivingy. There is lots the same.
But what I crave most is offering something that will make someone at the table want more of it. Maybe it’s a sweet potato salad or the Brussels sprouts or the mac & cheese. Something. Something that says this is the best dinner yet.
Anything that makes this time feel alive.
You can check out some more thoughts on Thanksgiving (including the founding myth and the paradox of thankfulness) on my podcast, Making Saints. Listen here, or subscribe using your favorite app. And don’t forget to leave a rating and review. But only if you like it. Seriously. You know, the algorithm and my ego.