Here is a collection of lukewarm takes on a thing people are heated about elsewhere so I can avoid doing something more productive.
re: the tiktok woman calling churches and recording their responses
disclosure: I’m not watching 42 videos (and counting).
For those that don’t know: An activist is calling churches posing as a mother in desperate need, asking if they can help her get a can of baby formula. She is using recorded sounds of a baby crying in the background. She then posts the conversations on tiktok.
Several occasionally related responses:
1.
I like guerrilla journalism when it is an activist taking on multimillion dollar corporations. Not so much a rando calling up churches which might be able to afford to have a full-time pastor.
2.
I take a lot of calls from people who hear a lot of “no” from other churches and it breaks my heart. I’m not surprised at all by the numbers.
3.
Church funds are tightly controlled to protect the congregation. It is bad to have cash on location. Also, we have avenues to make things available and I often do.
4.
A lot of people are taking this at the one-to-one momentary response and getting pissed off at churches AND treating attempts by church people to explain the bigger picture as excuses. Nah, sometimes we have to say no and sometimes we say yes. None of the times I’ve gone to the store myself, bought stuff, and taken it to someone get recorded in tiktoks.
5.
Also worth noting that the people responding to this (calling pastors names) with gross behavior are missing their own message (in trying to tell a pastor that Jesus loves people, they behave indecently?).
6.
As others have noted — some of the churches respond by telling her where she can get the resources she needs and her response is essentially no thanks, I want it from you. Which is not a condition that is ultimately more defensible than, say, asking the person to prove they aren’t a scammer. These exist in the same basic space. Either accept help or not.**
7.
Food distribution services can be a HUGE mess in our communities and a lot of people are struggling. The food distribution network I’m a part of locally is THE ONLY no-questions-asked food pantry run at scale in our community, which feeds about 1,500 people each week. Everything else expects documentation proving you’re poor enough.
8.
A lot of people are responding to discussions of this series of videos with #7 in mind and using that to cudgel the people doing ministry that are saying things like “we have a lot of scammers” and “we take a lot of calls” and “we only have so many resources”. The food scarcity and the limited generosity of SOME is being broadcast onto ALL and a lot of us are taking these kinds of calls and having to make judgment based on what is feasible because —
9.
I often get a call like this at 11:45 am on a Wednesday before my noon service and I’ve scheduled a meeting for 2:00, which is usually done by 3:30 and from there I have an appointment. And if I’m getting a call from a rando that would require me to drive out to Meijer and figure out how to make this available, I’m having to schedule this in.
And if you are, again, not going to go where you could get the can of formula in under an hour, but want to guilt me into skipping lunch so I can race to the store between appointments, and get home late, so my family has to wait on me for dinner — what a strange moral compass. Again, the question isn’t my willingness to stretch myself, but the idea that I don’t have to because there already is an option that would be easier for everyone involved!
10.
There is a question about how this sort of service can work and be of greater utility to more people that should be more examined. I’ve long thought that a church ought to have something on hand to give out to the hungry at any one time. It seems natural. One of our solutions has been to stock a few McDonald’s gift cards because that gives someone something to eat and a place to be inside for a few hours as a customer.
The idea that a church could have baby formula (and diapers, wipes, powder, etc.) on hand is a generous and novel thing. We don’t live with this as an expectation, but it is reasonable to build that expectation. And many of the comments I’ve seen not only assume we should already be living into this expectation, but are raging at people because we aren’t already.
11.
The bigger picture is that food insecurity is a serious problem that shaming individual churches doesn’t solve. Because, let’s be honest here, churches aren’t the source of the problem and despite the greater issues, we’re doing our best.
Consider the modern parable of the church picnic and the river.
There was a congregation gathering by the river for a church picnic. They were having a great time in fellowship after gathering for worship. The fried chicken was crispy and the pasta salad was still cold so nobody was worried about the mayo turning yet.
Just then, someone heard shouting by the river. People jumped up and ran to the river to find someone caught by current, drowning. Two people dove in, while two more found a big tree branch to help save the person’s life. As they brought the person to shore, they heard more screams as someone else was in the river, drowning. A couple more joined to help get the second person out. Then they see a third person who needed saving.
The church was doing good work saving these people’s lives, but at what point do you look down the river, sending a search party to stop whoever is throwing them in? Turn your ire to that and let’s mobilize to eliminate food insecurity by raising a whole population of people out of poverty. We’re all looking to change the scenario.
12.
Nothing about this social media conversation feels right. It feels like the people who are getting hurt on social media are people who are serving those churches that are most likely to engage in these ministries. People’s religious trauma is being exercised in unhealthy ways — for them and for their neighbors. We’re ignoring the external sources of poverty and moralizing around the central issues.
There is something skeezy about calling up churches with a fake need. This actually means the woman has more in common with a scammer than a person with a genuine need.
If I took this call, would I feel like I was helping provide a service? Or would I feel like this is yet another spam call that gets in the way of loving my neighbors? Because it is.
Frankly, it doesn’t seem like any of this will contribute positively to a good-faith dialogue around church responsibility and generosity. In short, it feels kind of gross.
And counterproductive.
Like we’re all being manipulated. And for what? Well, it looks like the minority of these churches that do say yes are seeing some benefit in the form of positive press and financial donations. But is this really what we want?
I’m sure there are other thoughts, but coming up with twelve seems appropriate.
Anyway, give generously. Help your neighbor. Touch grass. Be a good human. Don’t get into flamewars. Walk a mile in a church worker’s shoes. Advocate for the food insecure. Respect the dignity of every human being. Love.
** Here’s the additional reminder that I’m on team generosity. I don’t believe in attaching strings. What I’m saying is that a person who attaches strings to ME is not in a more righteous position, if you get me.