Have you ever noticed that people are just “being realistic” when someone else has a good idea?

Or when a group is contemplating doing something hard?

Or when someone is leading with hope rather than frustration and disappointment?

There certainly are times when people aren’t considering all of the potential fall-outs of a decision. Or when they think the old adage doesn’t apply to them: they’ll keep doing something over and over and still expect a different result.

I find people’s level of realism is extremely strong. It’s the hope, creativity, and willingness to persevere that is lacking.

Being realistic is pessimism dressed in a tuxedo.

The opportunities to deploy it in the middle of pie-in-the-sky conversations are quite rare. But we insist on deploying it regularly anyway. It is the weapon we have and therefore feel compelled to use.

Realism lacks creativity. In fact, we tend to use it to shut down creative moments to focus on an unyieldingly stable reality. One that never changes and has always been.

Realism abdicates responsibility. We treat the move like we are adding to the brainstorming session rather than subtracting elements from it. And we think our speaking up is the same as doing something about it.

Realism is inaccurate. It is shackled to a world governed by object permanence rather than evolution and constant change. Our “realistic” vision of the world is no less stylized and invented than the ones we’re condemning.

Realism is cover. We use it to cover for our fear of trying something new. Something actually worth doing.

Let’s be more useful

It is useful to remind people that playing the lottery isn’t a good investment strategy. That’s not being realistic: that’s awareness of how math works.

Just like we aren’t being realistic when we scare our children with active shooter drills. We’re actively refusing to address the problem while placing responsibility for safety on teachers and students.

Being realistic isn’t useful. It merely redefines what we think should count as useful.

We use words like practical and realistic as code for stability. They communicate to the world that we are compliant and reliable. Don’t expect us to try new things, advocate for new things, or adjust our course under any circumstances.

We don’t need more of this. Like devil’s advocates, one is enough.

What we need is creativity and the energy of those willing to help others create something.

What is real in the world is change and evolution. That the best ideas seem to come out of nowhere and never sound realistic. Putting a computer in everyone’s pocket didn’t seem realistic at all. Now it is a necessity.

Useful is better than realistic. Creativity, empathy, generosity, and compassion are way better.