Some of us don’t do vacations very well. Or we feel guilty about taking them. Here are five ways to help change that.
Episode 32 of the Make Saints podcast: “5 Rules for Vacation”
the episode script
I have a hard time going on vacation. It isn’t that I don’t like to. Or want to. It’s just that I have a hard time pulling myself away.
See, I’m a workaholic. I over-invest myself into my work. I use it to define me.
Also, I’m the kind who worries about what will happen when I’m gone. And how much work will be waiting for me. So I’m worried about other people and planning for the mountains that await me. I’m optimistic and pessimistic at the same time.
Even though I know vacations are good for me, I let them become a source of anxiety. So I have to make myself do this. And the best way to make myself do this is to sketch out some ground rules for myself.
Here are my five current rules for vacation.
1. Take enough time
The science around vacation is pretty clear: we need more of it. At least those of us in the U.S. Way more.
And just as important: more time taken at the same time.
It takes about three days to begin to shut down the work brain. And about another three for that process to complete. That’s almost a week of vacation time for your brain to relax enough to actually be on vacation!
Then, toward the end of vacation, the work brain starts the slow process of booting back up, so about six days out, it starts to boot up.
So the stark reality is that long weekends aren’t vacation. A week isn’t vacation. Even two weeks only nets you about two days of true rest.
Our bodies and brains are so starved from rest, we don’t even know what vacation is anymore.
Of course, not everyone can take three or more weeks at one time, but if you can, do it.
2. Plan to intend
I’m not a big Planning Guy when it comes to vacation. I really want to shut off the brain and go with the flow. Minimize decisions. Though, of course, itineraries help; especially on destination vacations.
On the other hand, we need to keep ourselves committed to the purpose of vacation. As much as going with the flow can be super restful, the lack of order is messing things up, it’s not probably not the best trade-off.
But we don’t have to go all Type A on our vacation, either (unless that sparks your joy—then go for it).
These days, I’m finding the word intention helpful. Intentions connect your core self with your behavior. So intentions are the things you want to be doing. Whereas goals are demonstrable and achievable, intentions are vague and squishy. Which makes them perfect for vacation.
If I intend to get a walk in every day next week and get one in six out of seven days, I can feel good about being someone who walked during vacation! But if I set a goal to walk everyday, I would measure that as a failure: I missed a day.
Be intentional, and the things we value become far more likely to happen.
3. Lay in a hammock
This is my annual #1 intention. To spend time in a hammock at least once.
For me, the hammock is a symbol of true relaxation. It is time spent alone, outside, restfully reading, then dozing off, waking to the sun twinkling through the leaves overhead.
I set my intention to do it at least once (as opposed to, say, an hour every day) because I have a bunch of other things I know I’ll want to do. We need to go mini-golfing, swim, eat ice cream.
But in the midst of all my “have-to-dos”, I have one requirement that stands above all at least once: I rest.
That is my icon for vacation.
You may have a different icon. But find it. And make it happen. At least once.
4. Get in the water
I’m a big guy. Other guys have a six-pack. I have a nice, round one-pack. I also have never had an honest or healthy body image.
So obviously, the beach is not my thing.
Besides, it’s usually hot. And I’m a (bald) red-head, so really, I’m only allowed about 45 minutes of sun per day.
As a kid, I loved the beach. I grew up a block from Lake Huron. I spent the whole summer at the beach.
And when we go north on vacation, my kids spend every day at the beach. So I do too.
But now I get in the water.
Nobody cares. I might blind them with the sun reflecting off my pasty skin. But so what? Get in the water. Swim. Dive into waves. Play games.
Live it up with people you love.
The same applies to other activities. Dance, sing, laugh, try new things, play ridiculous games. Have fun.
5. Leave it like you found it
The old camping phrase may be the most important lesson any of us will learn in life. This usually means “clean up your junk.” You can be a slob in the camping site, but pick up all the trash before you leave. Make it pristine for the next person.
But I think we can expand the idea to the whole vacation experience.
For those of us who work in creative or knowledge fields in which we have a whole host of responsibilities that all kind of get put on hold when we go on vacation, there is a cruel disincentive to never take vacation. All of the work we do just so that we can go on vacation is compounded on all of the regular work. Then, when we return, there’s all that work that has piled up while we were gone.
It can make it seem like we didn’t actually get vacation. We gave the job an advance on our labor.
If we can adjust our mindset for our vacation, but more importantly everyone else’s to a “leave it like you found it” mindset, we’re setting an expectation of normalcy through our vacation.
When I leave, stuff will keep going. And when I get back, everything looks the same. I can leave it the way I found it. And I can find it the way I left it.
Other Rules
I’m sure there are lots of other rules for vacation. Rules that fit your personality or situation.
The main purpose of naming these rules is so that I can make more of my own vacation. To help me remember to take enough time, use intentions, and play in the water.
If you need me, though, chances are, I’ll be in the hammock.