Leaders can’t always tell when we’re venting or asking them to do something about it. Sometimes we’re not sure ourselves.

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I sometimes can’t tell the difference between someone blowing off steam and wanting something from me.

There is a lot of both in leadership. In a pandemic, both are amplified.

I suspect people feel confident complaining “up the ladder”. I have to tell someone, they’ll say. As if they will burst if they don’t say anything.

As a leader, I don’t always know what to do with this information. Are you trying to persuade me? Is this something you’re hoping for action on? Is this commentary on how I’m running things?

And therein lies the problem.

If you’re just blowing off steam, then sure, go for it. But you can’t expect me to do anything about it. We can’t have a natural conversation. As the leader, I don’t get to do that. And worse, I may have to correct you in the middle of it.

But if this is your way of trying to convince me to do something, I’m less interested. You’re simply adding to the noise of stuff I’m already hearing and thinking.

Sometimes, however, you’re doing both.
And chances are very good that I’m hearing it as both.

The better approach is to be clear. About what we want and what we expect. Don’t be cruel, of course. But be direct and humble.

And if you are just blowing off some steam, consider that you aren’t blowing it indiscriminately. You’re giving it to me. And I have plenty already.