So much of our energy is focused on what we are supposed to do at any given moment, we hardly listen to what Jesus is saying.
Jesus is focused on our being whole
Proper 18A | Matthew 18:15-20
I’m going to guess that you’ve had a disagreement at some point in your life. It’s a pretty safe bet. Everyone has had at least one. Chances are good that all of us have had more than one. It’s even safe to say that most have us have had a relationship end over a fight or some conflict.
So not only is the idea of disagreeing with other people familiar, it’s something we all have experience with.
I know many of you also, when you’re feeling grief or frustration, want to turn it around—bring some order or resolution to the encounter. In other words, you want to know what you are supposed to do.
Today, people spend millions of dollars on self-help seminars hoping to get precisely that: knowledge of what to do. Honestly, I think the most anxiety-producing question is not “what is the meaning of life?” It’s “what am I supposed to do?”
Because we assume there is always something we are supposed to do.
supposed to do
When Jesus describes to his followers a pattern for reconciliation, it is tempting to call that what we are supposed to do. We are, after all, followers of Jesus, followers of The Way. And as followers, we are disciples of the Rabbi. And disciples do what their rabbi does. So naturally, if Jesus says to do something, there’s a pretty high chance it is something we ought to do.
And what Jesus describes today sounds like a solid formula for reconciliation. So there is no wonder why many evangelical groups use this as the format for reconciling division. They model the rules off of Jesus. I mean, it doesn’t get any more direct than that!
Well, there’s a downside to making this seeming framework into a rule structure. What if the supposed sin isn’t?
All those precious rules, modeled on Jesus’s teaching, become a means of torture, not reconciliation. They are used to not only enforce the status quo, but deprive individuality, discernment, or even growth in the system. The rules become the thing that needs to be enforced.
This should be obvious to anyone who knows Jesus.
A huge part of his deal is flexing against the rules. Specifically, the rules meant to follow God’s will but have become an idol for enforcement. Jesus rejects the impulse to protect the rules above the ideal the rules strive to protect. He’s the one who broke Sabbath law to protect the Sabbath from the law!
If we’re making laws and expectations about reconciliation that hurt people then it seems Jesus himself would break that law.
Where we get lost is that we follow Jesus with that question “what am I supposed to do?” always in mind. And when we come across something that sounds the least bit like direction, we jump at it.
When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray, he said when you pray, pray this… And we’re still praying that prayer he told them.
But what happens when we misunderstand the intention? And we focus only on the action?
Like Children
Before we go any further, let’s get some context for this teaching that we are so tempted to isolate from the text.
Last week we were at the end of chapter 16. And then chapter 17 has the Transfiguration and another passion prediction. So this is late stage teaching—we’re heading now to Jerusalem. Following Jesus means we all get a cross to carry.
The disciples in Matthew’s gospel are curious in the way we are curious. They want to know the rules of the kin-dom. Who is the greatest in your vision of the world? It’s a question we ask all the time. Because we assume someone has to be.
Jesus puts a child in front of them and says “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”. This actually sounds terrible and exclusive. Only kids get in the kin-dom? Or else we start deconstructing what it means to be a child so we all can determine the rules for getting in.
But it isn’t the rule, it’s the spirit of the rule.
What do adults do? We systematize, exclude, demand, fight. And what do kids do, but dream, play, pretend, wonder.
Jesus tells a parable of a lost sheep, about the pursuing the lost one and reuniting them with their flock.
This is where Jesus is going. Not to force the black sheep of the family to change color or to shame them into rejoining. It isn’t to set up a structure for us to follow so that we can stop worrying about what we’re supposed to do.
He’s describing reconciliation and the lengths God’s people should go to be in communion.
Like Jesus
There’s a lot to this story. And the part of us that always wants to know what we’re supposed to do also wants to know what to do if it doesn’t work. And Jesus says
“if the offender refuses to listen even to the church, let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax-collector.
Which, as a line is kind of meta. And brilliant.
Given what we know about Jewish leaders at the time, this sounds like cast them out. But given what we know about Jesus, it reads like welcome them like a foreigner/outcast/traitor.
This ultimately is why we struggle with turning Jesus’s teaching into rigid rules or the Bible into an answer book. The question is not whether or not it can work that way, but how much doing so distorts Jesus’s teaching.
If anything, Jesus is closer to a Magic 8 Ball than a collection of laws because his answers demand interpretation and discernment.
Jesus didn’t form rigid institutions and expel people for not obeying doctrine. He welcomed the undesirable and teated them as equals. Then he turned to his peers and expected them to do the same.
Wholeness
This seems to me to be the crux in understanding how Jesus sees reconciliation. He expects more out of people who know better. And he treats outsiders like insiders who need to learn.
So there is no shunning here. But there’s also no hostage-taking. No my way or the highway. This is not about fixing sinners nor is it about agreeing to disagree.
This is about facing the very real problem of one person in the church directly hurting another person, in thought, word, or deed. This isn’t about differences of theology or how you feel about management style. It’s about direct abuse and our commitment to leading the abuser away from their abuse.
The heart of Jesus’s passion is for Shalom—wholeness, health, justice, peace. It is not pretending manipulation is OK or that difference of opinion should lead to division. It isn’t a set of rules to live by or giving each of us step-by-step instructions for governing our behavior.
It’s about getting to the heart of the matter: Shalom. The point is wholeness. And restoration is the work that brings us to wholeness. Avoiding the problem doesn’t get us to wholeness. Naming our pain isn’t the cause of pain. Just as Jesus’s preaching Shalom is not a just reason for his crucifixion.
Being whole as the Children of God living in peace, begins, not with perfection, but change. Turning from selfish pride to generous courage. And seeing, at the very heart of the world, the capacity for everything to join with you, together, as one.