“An explanation of cause is not a justification by reason.”

–C.S. Lewis

When I’m uncomfortable with a conversation, I feel myself changing. Like I can feel a little person inside my head choosing to descend to the downstairs brain, the lizard brain which needs to defend me. I know it’s happening but the rush of adrenaline and the fear are blinding.

The downstairs brain doesn’t care for reason or logic. It cares about defense, by any means.

Serious arguments aren’t the only time we throw reason out the window to defend ourselves. It happens when we feel shame, too.

But this isn’t reason. Nor is it the same.

We can’t agree to disagree when we aren’t on the same train car or using the same highway. When we’re talking about apples and you offer oranges.

Stick to the subject and take responsibility.