The other morning, as I took my kids to the bus stop, I saw a distillation of our present situation in these brief moments at the start of my day.

A simple moment. One mistake. Then another. And a third.

Our mornings are that strange mixture of rushing and waiting anyway. We were there with plenty of time and I wave to our kids as they line up and again through their window as they sit down.

Few parents do this, it seems. Perhaps I overdo it. But my sense is that I want them to carry with them the love I have for them for the whole day. I want them to know that.

I also take this time to teach them safety. At the intersection. To look both ways. To wait for the bus to come to a full stop before we cross. Watch! Listen!

The bus stop is also at an intersection and most of the parents line up on the cross streets orderly. But not all. Some park in ways which block traffic or park where the bus wants to go.

There are also other drivers who get stuck for the 4 minutes the bus is stopped, so they get impatient.

But some of the most impatient drivers are the parents themselves.

This particular morning,

I walked my kids to the corner, saw them off, and walked back to my car.

One of our neighbors, clearly running late, pulled up behind me just as the bus pulled away.

I thought of the times I was in her shoes; frustrated and short-tempered, I felt the cars waiting in line weren’t moving fast enough. Even though I waited, I understood her decision.

She pulled around the four cars lined up, hoping to race to school; something she hadn’t planned to do. Unfortunately, the person at the front of the line started moving and she was trapped in the left lane.

This is also common at our stop. And easily resolvable. The lead car goes, the car across the way goes, then she can turn. Really simple.

Except the car behind the lead car wouldn’t let her in.

And the car across the way wanted to go straight.

At this point, the situation is still pretty simple. We let the left turner go, the one in the left lane moves over, and the oncoming driver can proceed.

Now, if you’re thinking logic would prevail, then you’re not paying attention.

Here’s what happens next:

1. The one who now has to drive her son to school is stuck in the left lane after trying to jump spots.
2. The person in the second spot boxes her out and is also stopped at the corner.
3. The opposing driver, who can plainly see what is happening, pulls through the intersection anyway. He pauses (as if he actually had a choice) and then proceeded to drive in the grass, completely off the road.
4. The second spot driver turns at the corner.
5. The one stuck to the left moves over.
6. The cars clear out within 20 seconds.

The whole time between my getting back into the driver’s seat and turning at the intersection was under a minute.

It would be really easy to look at my neighbor, a very nice woman, by the way, and pin the blame on her. One bad decision. She screwed it all up.

Of course it was just a mistake.

She acted out of frustration and anger. Perhaps a certain sense of injustice given the inconsistency at our bus stop.

But isn’t the bigger problem that three different people all chose to be selfish? That three different people chose independently to give a finger to the people around them? They couldn’t be bothered to wait a matter of seconds?

Someone chose to box her out rather than let her in.

Someone drove off the road (it rained the night before) rather than let either of them proceed.

These aren’t wise decisions. Or just. Or even justified. They’re stupid. Mistakes.

And who of these three went about their day, remembering this moment? The one who wouldn’t let her in? The one who tore up the grass and the mud? And the one whose day was inconvenienced by an extra 20 minutes of driving she hadn’t planned?

Did any of them carry that frustration and anger more than the 20 seconds it took? Who else did they take these frustrations out on? What other people bore the brunt of a brief moment?

So much pain because of selfishness. So much disorder and frustration and hate leveled at something resolved in under 60 seconds.

Selfish individualism is our worst problem.

How many of our decisions are based in selfishness rather than reason?

How many of us will make rash and stupid decisions at the ballot box because we’re pissed? And looking out for ourselves. Frustrated. Angry.

Will you refuse an orderly resolution just because scapegoating and revenge matter more than loving your neighbor?

Do you help them feel loved? Forgiven?

Do you feel loved the whole day?