Any conversation about children in church must begin with children.

I say this knowing that it is rarely the case. Much more likely that we begin with how adults handle children or what adults want for their children or what adults can have without children present.

I know that this is a touchy subject. But we’re sort of in the middle of the conversation anyway. A conversation I started yesterday when I invited us to discuss Sunday School. A conversation that challenges our assumptions about our relationship to our children. Our children aren’t our equals in church, they’re our superiors.

'I hasten us to take more seriously the idea that children aren't with us simply to learn' Share on X

In the midst of speaking to what the Kingdom of GOD is like, Jesus starts to show his followers the people that represent the inheritors of the Kingdom: who will be first in the Kingdom because they are last in our world and Jesus begins by bringing a child into their midst and saying that the stumbling block we give to children is the stumbling block we give to Jesus; how we treat children is how we treat GOD.

Then Jesus comes back to the children and he says that the kingdom is possessed by children. They own it. And if we want to have anything to do with it, we have to start being more like them.

I remind us that we should never take our Scripture literally, but we need to often take Jesus more seriously at his word. Given the context, where Jesus is in the story (approaching Jerusalem), these are among the final teachings for the disciples as they approach the climax of the story. Jesus isn’t wasting his time on platitudes. He wants these guys to get it.

Kid First

Jesus speaks to his followers by saying the first shall be last and the last shall be first. When he does this, he is not simply naming who is last in our world and will be first later. As if we just need to understand the seating chart. He’s making sure we get it so that we do something about it. That we partner with GOD in moving the weak and the powerless from last in this system to first in GOD’s system.

For the Hebrew people, children were a possession and were lowest among people. Jesus argues that it is these who possess the Kingdom. In this way, I hasten us to take more seriously the idea that children aren’t with us simply to learn from us so that one day, when they are old enough, they’ll be in charge. Jesus says that they’re in charge now.

The Mission Church

One of my favorite stories of church began in the 1960s. The church was hopping, kids are everywhere. Congregations are building education wings with a classroom for every school grade. This one congregation, home to the city’s wealthiest patrons, is the magnet for city’s powerful. It’s leadership is predictable, ordered, and older. All the young families, brought in to this growing and dynamic church are disrupting the flow of things. They have children! They want to get involved! They even want to serve on the vestry!

So this congregation did what congregations do in these circumstances: they formed a mission church across town and encouraged their young families to go over there. Without the endowment or the wealthy backing, the congregation struggled. The Boom ended and the pews began to empty. Several decades passed. And as they did, new people would darken the door, hoping to find the small, friendly church they thought this might be. It certainly was! Only they brought children with them! And they wanted to get involved! They even wanted to serve on the vestry!

It is hard

I’m not an idiot. The church is not geared toward children and would have a hard time accepting that mandate. There are some denominations and congregations which are doing some amazing work in being kid-focused and being appropriate to all ages. Some are struggling harder than others.

It seems that if we were to take Jesus as deadly serious (that we adults become more like children, rather than the other way around) that we would need to do a tremendous overhaul of our practice. That it would be impossible to do things as we do them, only slightly different. It would be hard not to have the whole practice of worship and discipleship affected by such a process. And I think it ought to.

I wonder, though, if a way forward is as simple as Jesus says it is. That it really is a case of flipping it all upside down.

The late Bishop Gordon (Episcopal Diocese of Alaska) retired and served for a time in Michigan. He was extremely supportive of education and formation and was fond of telling congregations that we’re doing it wrong: the children should be in church and the adults should be in Sunday School.

For years I’ve taken this idea to its logical conclusion: that children need to experience our liturgy to build the pattern of our faith. And our adults need to get back to the classroom. It is we who need the new education. Because it is our behavior that is out of whack, not our children’s.

Ask Yourself

How does my congregation treat its children? Like the royalty Jesus declares they are? The property the world declares they are? Just one of the guys our radical equality declares they are? Or something else entirely?

How do I treat the needs of children? Are their needs taken as seriously as the senior’s? If the building is accessible for the disabled, is it also accessible for little ones learning to wash their hands? Are the children moved to make room for the adults or is it vice versa?

What would it mean to me, as a child of GOD to put my own needs behind a child’s? And how might I describe the gospel mandate of that to another adult? How do we communicate that our needs are important, just not as important?

What happens to our worship if we put our children at the center? Would we be up to the change and the challenge? Would we stay? Would we form a mission church full of the adults who can’t handle all those kids around? Would we come alive with purpose and hope? Would we give of our grace for theirs, happily and with joy and love?

Do we have within us the faith to let another rule? Particularly one with less experience than we have?

 

 [This is Day 13 of How to start deconstructing church. The next in the series is “Children’s Sermon”. To start from the beginning, read the introduction here.]