When I heard that one of Ben Affleck’s ancestors owned slaves, I didn’t even blink.

That he didn’t want to share that on national television surprised me even less.

In our gotcha era of dualisms and polarities, an outspoken liberal actor/writer/director would be easy fodder for the outspoken conservative media personalities. His deep shame, perhaps anger at this unknown part of his history seems different then what he no doubt signed up for. A very public life, with its fiercely protected moments of personal, and family life, built by hours and hours of tireless work to keep his family safe from the prying eyes of the gawker set would be unraveled by an unforeseen moment. A moment which certainly does not comport with how he sees himself; and no doubt doesn’t match the family story of working class Boston.

That a young white man cannot open himself to the shame, however, is the bigger story for me. And his privacy reveals in others how shallow our culture truly is.

Certainly Affleck has done nothing wrong. He didn’t own slaves and leaked emails reveal that his publicist didn’t want this small branch of his family tree included in the TV program they were filming. Nothing Affleck has done warrants the criticism he has already received.

That he has received this criticism reveals much more. That he (or at least his studio) felt that hiding this fact was more important than exploring it reveals much more. It reveals how deeply entrenched racism is; how deeply rooted our shame and sin is. How desperate for reconciliation we are and yet how the shame of sin compels us to hide our history and ignore its path to the present.

Stolen land, wealth built through slavery, promised equality unfulfilled by ghettoizing whole populations, broken treaties, no 40 acres and certainly no mules. We speak of minorities as groups and we speak of the majority as individuals. Singular, autonomous people who weren’t there: who didn’t own slaves. But we did. And we also promised things that we never provided. We owe and they are owed. That exists.

Our deepest need is to reconcile all people. We can’t do that if we keep thinking this is a problem of individuals, and that our very society has nothing to answer for. We must confess for our sin. Then make amends. And it’s up to the perpetrators of abuse to go first.

Not for the sake of the individuals. But for the sake of us all. Everyone. And all of creation.