Do you dress up? Pass out candy? Head off to a party? Or do you sit at home in the dark, hoping those darn kids would stay off your lawn?

I loved Halloween when I was little. I loved dressing up and playing make believe. I wanted to cut out early of swim practice because trick or treating would start at 5:00.

When I got older, I started to have anxiety about Halloween. I wanted the perfect costume: something creative, something that made me look good. And original. But like everybody else. Something normal; just well-made.

Of course, there was the candy. And when I was in junior high, it was the candy that compelled me to throw on last year’s costume and face the cold Michigan night.

At some point, I stopped wanting to express myself. I replaced myself with who others expected me to be, trading in Luke Skywalker for Freddie Kruger. I dressed as scary creatures from movies I didn’t even watch.

It seems to me that Halloween is the day your id is revealed to the world.

Do you play or not? Do you give or receive? Do you have fun or do you have anxiety?

My own children love candy, the anticipation, the mystery. But more than that, they love being out in the world, pretending, watching the wonders, being with family. It may not always be that way, but it is a healthy way to be.

It has taken me a long time to realize that I wasn’t being who I was called to be. But it is never too late to change, no matter what they say. What does your heart say? Who will you be tonight?