Following the bizarre bullying case out of Miami is becoming as absurd as Greg Schiano’s self-destruction in Tampa Bay, but I’m left with a more chilling and disturbing idea from the coverage: that we seem to have the wrong idea of how to respond to it.

This isn’t a sports blog, though I do indulge that passion once in a while. Nor do I really need to go through the details of the allegations. This article can catch you up to speed, and more importantly, this one, which outlines the trouble with locker rooms. Particularly the problem with seeing nothing wrong with bullying, hazing, shaming, insulting, abusing one’s teammates—calling it “joking” and “playing.” In one quote from today, former Dolphin Lydon Murtha likens the Dolphins locker room to “Animal House”…as if that were a complement. Or worse, an example of how anyone would choose to run a profitable NFL franchise.

This is a game played by people making a lot of money. People who are recruited for their talent and chemistry with the team. If Jonathan Martin wasn’t fitting in, then trade him, don’t break him.

For me, the challenge in the coverage is that Jonathan Martin doesn’t need to be hardened or driven to play better. This shouldn’t be Incognito’s responsibility, nor should a coach suggest a teammate can bully a guy into playing better.

Bullying doesn’t work. Statistics are overwhelming on the psychology of bullying. It doesn’t make people do what we want them to do or teach them what we intend to teach them. It  teaches them something else. That someone we are supposed to trust is willing to hurt us.

We should not focus our attention on what constitutes bullying vs. joking—or whether there are normative cultures in NFL locker rooms; these are dead ends. Instead, fans of the Miami Dolphins should be angry that the coaches are using outdated psychology on their players and not inspiring their best work—that bullying doesn’t make them better.

And the rest of us should stop apologizing for bullies and berating their victims. There are too many bullies empowered already.