Every year I struggle with Lent. I struggle with what we are really called to do. Certain things are different, and yet we don’t really live all that differently. We fast or we take on new things or we mark our worship differently. But something doesn’t ring true about it for me. As I wrote in my article for St. Paul’s seasonal newsletter:

Personally, I have found a certain hollowness to these acts. Not that preparation isn’t important, or that our call to fasting is somehow negotiable. But sort of…Pharisaical.

If you remember the story of the Pharisees criticizing Jesus for healing on the Sabbath, for instance, you recall that Jesus criticizes them for not really getting The Law. There’s a subtle nuance to what Jesus was saying. The Pharisees and church leaders cared so much for The Law that they wrote a whole bunch of laws to help people better understand The Law. Somewhere along the line, however, those laws became a barrier to The Law–they became necessary in themselves, without regard to what they were intending to do.

I can’t help but feel that all that discipline and self-regulation, all the self-help and new insights we force on ourselves during this season are worth absolutely nothing if they don’t help us better connect with GOD and what we are called to do in this world.

In yesterday’s liturgy for Ash Wednesday, we hear the call to observe a holy Lent. This year, I heard it anew.

Dear People of God: The first Christians observed with great devotion the days of our Lord’s passion and resurrection, and it became the custom of the Church to prepare for them by a season of penitence and fasting. This season of Lent provided a time in which converts to the faith were prepared for Holy Baptism. It was also a time when those who, because of notorious sins, had been separated from the body of the faithful were reconciled by penitence and forgiveness, and restored to the fellowship of the Church. Thereby, the whole congregation was put in mind of the message of pardon and absolution set forth in the Gospel of our Savior, and of the need which all Christians continually have to renew their repentance and faith.

It seems to me that we are severely underselling what we mean by penitence and fasting. Eating fried fish on Fridays or giving up chocolate for a few weeks seems lame next to the three aspects of our historic faith practiced by this season:

1. Preparing for a total conversion from and rejection of the ways of the world.
2. Reconciling those grievously hurt or perpetrating horrible evil to the community.
3. Turning the entire congregation’s mind toward forgiveness and mercy–in others and themselves.

My petty little self-help issues are nothing compared to this–what is truly expected of us during this season.

Taking an honest accounting of Lenten discipline leaves us focused on the hard questions. Mortality, life, mercy, forgiveness, reconciliation, transformation. And these become the focus, not whether or not we can go without putting something in our bodies for a few days.

What actions of transformation, reconciliation, and mercy are your next steps for Lent?

As this season of self-discovery continues, I’ll hopefully be able to flesh out these ideas in myself. I’d love to hear what bubbles up in you!