Make a New Normal

Please Don’t Wish Me a Merry Christmas

christmas 2007
Image by paparutzi via Flickr

If you’re out there waging your insurgent campaign to defend Christmas from those that have invaded your holiday and claimed it for their own, apparently throwing Christ in lock-up and using enhanced interrogations against him, I’ve got one simple message to you:

Don’t wish me a “Merry Christmas!”

Please, for the love of all things holy, don’t do it!  Why?  Simple.

IT ISN’T CHRISTMAS!

There’s no war on Christmas.  Christ isn’t missing.  You know why?

IT ISN’T CHRISTMAS!

He isn’t here yet!  You’ve got the wrong season!  It isn’t Christmas.  No amount of combat and improvised explosive devises will make it Christmas.

Here’s a quick little clue: you know that song “The Twelve Days of Christmas”?  Guess what?  That’s about the real Christmas!  You know, Christmas Day and the 11 days before Ephiphany.  That’s Christmas!

But you aren’t waging a war to take back that Christmas from the infidels.  You aren’t trying to put Christ back into December 26th to January 5th, the real Christmas.

And you know what actually is the best greeting for this season?  Surprise!  “Happy Holidays” actually is best!  You know why?

That tiny minority of the population that is atheist or non-Christian (a sliver of the population) already has to endure the march through Advent from Thanksgiving with the ridiculous mass consumption associated with Christmas.  They even get their own holidays ignored during this time as the drum beats get louder and louder as the warpath of consumption and greed overtakes even the most spiritually in tune among us.  And people are complaining about being greeted wrongly based on a season that hasn’t arrived yet?

Me?  I love Christmas.  When it actually arrives!  But in Advent, I don’t pretend it is Christmas.

How many Christmas terrorists are going to throw their trees out on the 26th before Christmas has even really started?  How many are going to wish “Happy New Year!” on the 31st and 1st, when “Merry Christmas” is most appropriate?  And our New Year’s day was back in November, anyway.  Are you going to observe all 12 days?  What will you do on Twelfth Night?  Let me guess.

NOTHING!

Because, for all of this talk of “the reason for the season,” you don’t even know what the season is.

 

9 responses

  1. Thank you for that. It’s the kind of rant I like. By the way on twelfth night I will be travelling back home after visiting my family for Christmas, all twelve days of it. I hope I won’t be trying to bring home the traditional 12 days gifts. Not sure how I would explain the aviary to the airline.

    1. Drew Downs Avatar
      Drew Downs

      Yeah, they might have something to say about packing all of those people into one seat. Which would be worse: the ten lords a leaping or the eight ladies dancing?

  2. Brad Morley Avatar
    Brad Morley

    I like the powerful feeling and anti-consumerist message here, but to get even more technical about the dates, the season, and holiday wishes, Christmas (no matter if it is the 25th or the twelve days which follow) isn’t really the time to celebrate Christ’s birth. It didn’t happen in December at all; this is a choice made by early church leaders in order to absorb into church ritual the pagan celebration of mid-winter. But if we look at it simply as a time to more deeply consider Christianity and what that means to us as individuals, then I’m all in favour of your comments. But let’s not pretend the celebration in any way coincides with historical events surrounding Christ’s birth.

    1. Drew Downs Avatar
      Drew Downs

      Thanks for the response, Brad! You are absolutely right. But it is quite recent strangeness that we celebrate on anniversaries exclusively. The Christian calendar is made up of days irrespective of their chronology or literal dating. It is set up by season specifically to aid in the celebrating. I am guessing that’s what we want most out of Christmas, isn’t it?

  3. […] on Saturday, I skewered the phony “war on Christmas” with my own rant about its ridiculousness. But it, like the phony culture war are misrepresentations of what war […]

  4. […] did ponder this the other day as I was writing my request that people not wish me “Merry Christmas” before it actually was.  I thought about the potential that the actual Christmas season: the time from Christmas to […]

  5. This year, I found Christmas day to be the speed-bump in my Christmas season. Once it had passed with all of its busy-ness, I was more able to focus on the actual meaning of the season.

    1. Drew Downs Avatar
      Drew Downs

      Excellent! I felt the same way. Thanks!

  6. […] From the talk of many Christians, one could be easily confused by the annual declaration of a War on Christmas and the recent cries for religious liberty from those seeking to diminish ours. You may think […]

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