There are so many things that we do–right and wrong.  Most of them go unexamined.  The following list of twelve things is intended to shed a light on how we actually behave, and hopefully, reveal ways to make worthwhile changes.

12. be as we say
The cliché is to not only talk the talk but walk the walk; but I would alter the emphasis. For many Christians, they actually believe we are all walking the walk. So the emphasis shouldn’t be on the walk but on walking. We should operate continually as faithful people.

11. welcome the stranger
Another thought that everybody knows intuitively, but hardly do we think about what “welcoming” really implies. Not just sitting there and letting somebody sit there, too, but engaging and showing a kind heart to others.

I heard once that we read the parable of the Good Samaritan wrong. The context of the Samaritan to the Jewish people didn’t simply mean an outsider or outcast, wrongly accused and cast aside, but that Samaritans were a murderous and vile people, with a long history of brutality and inhumanity. That someone so evil could be found to be doing something good is truly revolutionary. If we are to overthrow the hypocrite label, we ought to recognize that we actually persecute evil and find ways to be charitable, despite our prejudice.

Now that we are recognizing that the undesirable is worthy of love, let’s recognize what it actually means to include a stranger into the group. How are we meeting their needs? What are they asking for that we can or cannot provide? Are we inviting them to even ask this question? And what are we doing to help transition someone from stranger-to-friend-to-partner?

10. treat children as the present, not the future
One of the things we assume is that our relationship as adults with children is that we have knowledge to impart on them and that they have to behave a certain way (also prescribed by us). Our theology tells us that children are full members of the church, but our practice tends to exclude them. So here’s the real suggestion: recognize that as children age, they are perpetual newcomers—seeing the church for the first time—and consummate life-long members—who can point out everything that is out of place. Children must be treated as both, today.

9. reflect on what is being said—sometimes with words
Apologies to St. Francis, but as he pointed out, we can communicate a great deal with our actions, not just our words. The truth is, we are already communicating something with our actions. What do we give the majority of time to? What do we focus on? How do we spend our money? What are our priorities? And what are we communicating when we do use words?

8. look in the mirror…but not too much

I don’t mean this in a vain way, I mean, actually look at the church. What do our buildings look like? Is our worship vital for the people that are here? How are people showing their devotion? If we don’t take time to examine ourselves and how we operate, we cannot possibly understand what others are trying to communicate when they stay home on Sunday morning.

When we look in the mirror, we tend to look at the same things—our hair, for instance. But it isn’t just our hair, it’s the part, or the hairs that are sticking up, or the cowlick that you can never do anything with. How much of our time is wasted on character flaws and not things that we are likely to be able to change? Are we too busy looking at our hair to notice the bags under our eyes? How did they get there? Did we get enough sleep or did we have a wild time last night? Or did we get up too early in the morning? Spending too much time in front of the mirror means that we aren’t spending enough time outside.

7. get out of the church building
We seem to spend all of our time around and in our church building. We put great care in its maintenance and incredible interest in how it is decorated. We gather every week to worship in the building. And yet—it seems to end there. We need to get out more and participate in the life of the community in a visible way.

6. realize that the more we cater to one group, the more others don’t feel welcome
The funny thing is that this isn’t a criticism. We love to be inclusive, so we talk a good game about having enough stuff for all people, but the truth is that niche markets aren’t always bad—we just have to realize that we are catering to a niche market and what that means. As the church gives more opportunities for seniors (its most prominent group), it gives fewer opportunities for youth and young adults. Planning programs during the day (9-5) means nobody but retirees is likely to show up. Planning programs late at night means that few seniors are likely to show up (or adults with young children that would otherwise be in bed). The point is that we should know who we are and who we want to be.

5. stop using free-market economic theory to direct congregational development
We must move away from operating our churches as if they were spiritual Wal-Mart stores. We don’t have a product to sell and we don’t want to pitch anything to willing consumers. Not only does this seem antithetical to our morals, but it runs counter to our theological foundation. In church terms, this means less focus on what ‘programs’ we are running and more interest in what living in community actually looks like. How can we actually live together and practice spiritual discipline?

4. children and youth are not a commodity
Similarly, we must stop seeing our children and youth as a commodity—something either extracted like oil from the ground or sold (or stolen from us) to an eager and hungry congregation. Not only must we allow children and youth to be a part of the church, we must help them demand that place—draw the passion for participation out of each one.

3. get rid of junk and salvage treasures
The church has a lot of trash: physical, emotional, and historical memory. We have collected practices that no longer matter to us—or have lost any sense of meaning; and yet we still do them. I joked with a friend after his ordination that, as he was offering the chalice, and saying “The blood of Christ, shed for you,” I was going to say (or dare his wife to say) “damn straight!” Of course he was glad that I did not (nor did his wife), but in some way, I was actually being serious—cheeky, but serious. The word ‘amen’ doesn’t have the same cache today, nor does it describe our spiritual response to God the way “damn straight!” would. If we got rid of all of our Christmas Pageants and Easter Egg Hunts and flowering crosses—what do you suppose we could do to spark our imaginations?

2. learn from the church’s mistake with Galileo
It is much easier for the church to lash out against what it doesn’t like—easier still in the Internet Age for individual Christians to call for the crucifixion of others—than for it to deal with reality. The problem is compounded by an irrational belief that it similarly cannot deal with being wrong. For Roman Catholics, this is especially difficult. But the truth is that we have done some incredibly nasty things and strangely, centuries go by before we apologize—let alone seek to amend for it. What do you think the impact on the world would be if we confessed to all of our sins in a timely fashion? What would it mean to those that don’t feel as if they could trust us? Is it possible that humility and a humble heart might actually work?

1. learn from Galileo himself
The theory that struck fear in the heart of Rome: that the earth is not the center of the universe: is an essential analogy for us today. Virtually everything above is dealing with the notion that perhaps Christians and the Church itself, is not the center of the universe. That we, in fact, revolve around the sun (or son). That we not only are failing, but have failed. That we are not the only ones that revolve around the sun, either—there are many planets—7 more, in fact. We are just lucky enough to inhabit life. This analogy is about reorienting relationship. It could also be described this way: instead of seeking ways to attract young people to church, perhaps we should find ways to be relevant to young people.